Welcome to my story.
I can’t wait to hear yours.

I believe that joy is magick and that we are all gifted with our own unique version of it. We have all suffered traumas - ‘Big T’, or ‘Little T’ - that have built in us a low tolerance for joy. Because joy is found in vulnerability.

We’re all longing to be the cat on our back asking for a belly rub — but most of us have found that it’s easier to be the cat the takes a swipe the moment you dare reach for that soft spot. Many of us think it’s just in our DNA to push people away or try to fit in. That the things that make us vulnerable must be hidden at all costs. I mean, we’ve all seen some messed up shit in our lives that we’re carrying around like it’s what makes us.

It is very likely that our stories are similar… Raise your hand if you resonate with any of these:

I grew up raised by a generation that believed in corporal punishment
 I was bullied from the age of 10 until I graduated high school
I was abandoned by friends that promised they’d have my back
I went from bad relationships to worse relationships
I stayed in a relationship with domestic violence
 I almost died at the hands of someone I trusted

Here’s my particular doozy:

I wasn’t around to save my little brother and now he’s gone.

No matter what I had lived through until that moment, I just thought it was how life was supposed to go for me… But this was the point where I was shattered beyond comprehension. The death of my brother, who was made of love, was my proof that I was going to just lose everything in life.

My (now) husband saw the shift in me.

I stopped dancing.

I stopped singing.

I stopped living freely.

I spent 10 years in therapy with an incredible counselor trying first to overcome the trauma surrounding the circumstances of my brother’s passing, and subsequently the everyday difficulties anyone with high anxiety and depression suffers.
(Hellooooo, panic attacks!)

I was doing it all “right” - I was following my heart and chasing wine country dreams, getting married and starting a family - but I was LACKING. At least I thought I was.

I was forcing myself into a box that said:

Sit down.

Be quiet.

Not now, Toni.

You’re too loud.

You’re too emotional.

You’re too new.

You’re too much.

You’re not enough.

I just yearned for community. I yearned for people who I could be REAL with about the utter fuckery that my life has been. And whom would appreciate that my skills are honed BECAUSE of the fuckery. Let’s be honest, I was looking for the kind of community that would make me laugh so hard I pee. I mean, it’s not pretty, but it’s funny as hell.

Any good witch would tell you that intuition is key - and when the opportunity slaps you in the face - you don’t slap it back. You jump off the cliff with it.

I found Sistership Circle and became a certified women’s circle leader, and began to truly understand what it means when someone says they’ve got your back.
I put myself in the hands of an incredible group of women in a Mastery of Circle retreat and knew that I was meant to lead women through transformational experiences. I knew that if I could do it and had the science to back what the spirit has been telling us all along, that I could actually help women heal. I get to play to heal.

I get to dance.
I get to sing.
I get to paint.
I get to create.
I get to nourish.
I get to heal.

Your presence here serves a purpose. Let's work together to make that purpose the most extraordinary one possible.

Sisterhood Sanctuary
COURAGEOUS Women’s Circle
July, 2023